Self-compassion test

Would you say to a friend things like: “You are getting so fat.” “Look at that flub.” “Your clothes look awful on you”?

Do you say things like that to yourself?

Most of us would probably tell our friend “You are beautiful” and mean it. Their weight or appearance wouldn’t affect our opinion of them. We love them for you they are and the love they give back to us. If we knew they stressed about their weight we might offer to go jogging with them. We would be positive and encouraging.

I invite you to commit to treating yourself the same way.

Would you say to a friend “Look at you, you’ve failed again. You’re never going to succeed.”?

Do you say things like that to yourself?

Most of us would probably tell our friend “I believe in you. Don’t give up. Everyone is human, we all make mistakes or fall short sometimes. Just keep trying. I know you can do it. I’m on your team. How can I help?”

I invite you to commit to treating yourself the same way.

Would you tell a friend “You are worthless.”?

Do you say things like that to yourself?

Most of us would tell our friends “I love you, you matter to me, you are worth everything”, and mean it. When they’re feeling down, we would take our friend out to a movie or to dinner, buy them a small gift, or spend some time with them, find some way to show them that they are of value to us.

Will you commit to treating yourself the same way?

Self-compassion is hard. Its hard for everyone. As a survivor of abuse, with the harsh and hostile words of my abuser echoing in my head, it is particularly difficult for me to not mentally abuse myself. It is second nature for me to tell myself negative things about myself. It is almost like I was trained to do so. But as human beings, we are capable of change. We can catch ourselves when we are being self-critical and replace those soul-draining words with self-compassionate, kind, supportive words.

Will you join me in changing the way you treat yourself? Will you commit to being self-compassionate?

I know that if you do, your life will become happier. When you don’t have an inner bully sapping all your energy and draining your self-confidence, you will have the strength and motivation to make the changes you want to that will make your life better.

Best wishes,

-S

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